The joys of pregnancy hormones

Some women are hashtag blessed when it comes to their pregnancy in the sense that they don’t really display many symptoms. Those lucky women maybe get nauseous here and there, but don’t really act… how shall I say this… BAT SHIT CRAY!

Two of my best friends, Emily and Kate, fall into that #blessed category. They never really felt hormonal or super emotional during their first trimester.

Then, there’s the other category. The one where hormones punch you in the face with brass knuckles and make the first 12-15 weeks of pregnancy an emotional rollercoaster. One minute you’re living your best life, then the next you’re all Regina George screaming toward your burn book, causing your husband to run and hide.

Needless to say, I fell into the second category. I wasn’t THAT bad, but I did have some rough days. REALLY rough days.

Throughout my first trimester, I kept an ongoing list highlighting the dark, vulnerable breakdowns during the early stages of making a human. I hope you enjoy.

You know pregnancy hormones have kicked into full swing when:

You lose it on your husband because he doesn’t clean up the dishes right away even though he said he was going to [That may have also happened before I was pregnant]
Wearing a bra hurts the girls
Not wearing a bra hurts the girls
You wake up every few hours during the night to pee
You gag while brushing your teeth
Walking a mile feels like running a 10K
You use your lunch break at work to take a nap in your car
You think about your parents becoming grandparents for the first time & you start bawling
Your husband says you’re acting crazy and you realize he’s right
You actually cry over spilled milk
You also cry because someone [won’t say who] eats all of your “extra toasty” Cheez-Its
You lose your love for hot coffee [Tragic]
You plan to work out, but then see your bed
You can sniff a Publix sub from a mile away [Oh how I miss cold cuts]
You wake up feeling hung over yet you didn’t have anything to drink the night before [Messed up I tell you]